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Vous n'aurez pas l'Alsace et la Lorraine
1977 History Comedy
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Credits
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Director: Coluche, Marc Monnet
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Script: Coluche
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Photo: Claude Agostini
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Music: Serge Gainsbourg, Jeff Jordan
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Cast: Coluche (Le Roi Gros Pif 1er),
Dominique Lavanant (La Reine
Madeleine),
Gérard Lanvin (Le Chevalier Blanc),
Anémone (Cousine Lucienne),
Martin Lamotte (Le bouffon),
Michel Blanc (Antremont),
Philippe Bruneau (Duc d'Ambise),
Christian Spillemaecker (Christian de Boynet),
Philippe Manesse (Philippe de Boynet),
Roland Giraud (Duc d'Orléans),
Gérard Jugnot (Premier capitaine
des mousquetaires),
Roger Riffard (Père L'Auriot),
Thierry Lhermitte (Le héraut
d'armes),
Jean Jacques (Le Roi de Flandre),
Marie-Anne Chazel (La Reine
de Flandre),
Michel Puterflam (Le radoteur),
Luis Rego (Le second capitaine des mousquetaires),
Christian Clavier (Le conteur)
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Country: France
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Language: French
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Runtime: 92 min
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Aka: You Won't Have Alsace-Lorraine
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Summary
Here is an episode in the history of France which shame has compelled the French to forget...
Whilst King Gros Pif I amuses himself at debauched banquets, his musketeers pursue their
tax-collecting duties with a malicious zeal, terrorising and pillaging like there was
no tomorrow. Goaded by the court jester (who is also the Queen’s lover,
although she is probably too drunk to notice), the King’s indecisive ministers finally
decide to put an end to this loathsome regime, and they have the King locked up in his
dungeons. Hearing this news, the famous Chevalier Blanc (whose descendants were
probably all named Maurice) comes to his rescue, armed with his trusty ballad. Aided
by the musical knight and his practical cousin Lucienne, the inconspicuous carrot-topped
King flees to Flanders (how embarrassing is that?), where he devises a scheme which will
win him back the throne of France...
Review
Coluche had already become a national treasure by the time he came to write, direct and
star in this film, a madcap historical romp with some similarities with some of the British
“Carry On” films of the late 1960s. Coluche’s brand of anarchic
comedy was fresh and inventive for its time and features heavily in this film, the perfect
vehicle for this comedian’s boundless wit and larger-than-life persona.
In this film, Coluche is joined by a very talented group of comic performers known
as “L’Équipe du Splendide”, which included Anémone, Gérard
Jugnot, Christian Clavier, Marie-Anne
Chazel and Thierry Lhermitte.
Like Coluche, these hugely talented comedians had made a name for themselves performing
comic stage acts in theatres and clubs, before making it big in cinema, with such films
as Les
Bronzés and
Le Père Noël est une ordure.
In Vous n'aurez pas l'Alsace et la Lorraine,
they give great entertainment value, particularly the feisty Anémone, although
most of the troupe make only a fleeting appearance.
Whilst Coluche and L’Équipe
du Splendide are excellent in this film, its real star is the previously unknown Gérard
Lanvin, who plays the Chevalier Blanc (i.e. White Knight), a brilliant caricature of the
historical adventure hero. When the Chevalier Blanc is not demolishing the set in
his attempt to save the day, he is driving all around him insane by singing his introductory
number again, and again, with increasing fervour. If the character is an inspiration
on paper, it is Lanvin’s gloriously unrestrained performance that makes it a classic
camp icon of French cinema. Remarkably, this was Gérard Lanvin first film
appearance, and is quite unlike anything he has done subsequently (alas).
Plotwise,
the film leaves a lot to be desired. Whilst the film consists of countless pleasing
little moments, it doesn’t really make a satisfying cohesive whole. It’s
a struggle to make sense of the plot and Coluche may have done better to have worked on
the script with a more experienced screenwriter. That said, the film’s raison
d’être is not to win awards for narrative coherence but to entertain,
and it manages to do this without any difficulty. The comic magician Coluche turns
out a constant stream of funny situations and visual jokes – some of which are genuinely
hilarious, raising a laugh no matter how many times you have seen the film. Add
to that some exquisite comic performances and the recurring "Chevalier Blanc" number (music
by Serge Gainsbourg, sung by Gérard Lanvin), and the result is an uplifting, albeit
totally insane, mix of musical comedy and historical adventure – a must-see film
for any fan of the great Coluche.
© James Travers 2004
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On m'appelle le Chevalier Blanc...
Yé vé
zé yé vole au secours d'innocents!
Quand dans la campagne résonne
la poudre,
Yé vé zé vole plou vite qué la foudre!
Mon épée est prête à servir,
L'ennemi n'a qu'à se
tenir.
Dé chacun yé souis repecté,
dou paysan au chevalier...
On m'appelle le Chevalier Blanc...
Yé vé zé yé
vole au secours d'innocents!
Cent fois ma tête fout mise à prix,
Mais yamais personne ne m'a prit.
Les soldats ne me font pas peur,
Yé pour
moi la force et l'honneur.
La youstice guide mon bras,
Yamais rien ne l'arretera...
Lala lalalalala lalalala lala lala lalalalalalalala...
On m'appelle le
Chevalier Blanc!
(Paroles de Coluche)
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